


You'll Hear My Shouting Silence

by vogue91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Brother Feels, Drabble Collection, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 12:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: And he thought back to Sirius, to his spiteful glances for what his brother had become, to his face, older than his own but strangely less scarred.





	You'll Hear My Shouting Silence

**_The Choice_ **

_Remember, we’re not allowed to know what ‘good’ means._

His brother’s tone had saddened him, for some reason he wasn’t able to understand.

_Good._

That word, apparently so simple, kept tormenting him.

He hadn’t dared to ask for its meaning to anyone but Sirius, and after that enigmatic answer he had shut himself in an impenetrable silence.

Regulus was just a kid, and yet he already felt a verdict weighing on his head, unspoken words which pointed him toward the only path he was supposed to follow.

He was a kid, already lacking free will, just because he ignored the meaning of a single word.

And the silence started to feel stifling.

 

**_The Path_ **

He was envious.

He didn’t envy the screams addressed to his brother, nor the spiteful glares his parents were directing to him.

On the contrary, he was happy to still be the revere one, praised, keeper to the family’s hopes.

And yet, Sirius had made a choice, while he couldn’t.

The path had reached a bifurcation, and since the branch leading to good was already taken, Regulus was aware that he was left with evil.

He would’ve wanted to blame his brother, screaming that he had condemned him, but he was afraid of the status of outcast he would’ve found himself in, together with Sirius.

And he kept silent.

 

**_The Scorn_ **

It almost seemed to shine.

He laughed, going around with his pathetic friends, careless.

Sirius was the purest light, and Regulus kept watching him with his eyes half closed, as if he couldn’t bear the sight of him.

He was all he had been taught to despise, and with time he had learnt to hate his brother, a resentment which had taken roots in him, not leaving room for anything else.

He came across him through Hogwarts’ hallways and stared at him, briefly, as if he was about to vent those poorly repressed emotions.

But he always stayed silent.

 

**_The Void_ **

Darkness was _everywhere._

It almost seemed to devour him, surrounding him in its violent coils, asking him for a soul he was afraid he didn’t own. Not anymore, since long.

He had walked that cursed path, he had reached the peaks of darkness, and now he was in a freefall.

He didn’t talk anymore, he just followed crazier and crazier orders, and entrenched himself behind a deafening silence.

And he thought back to Sirius, to his spiteful glances for what his brother had become, to his face, older than his own but strangely less scarred.

While he stayed in that tacit black of death, licking at invisible wounds.

 

**_The Redemption_ **

Good and evil. Light and darkness.

He had known well pain, he had known the treacherous depths of darkness, and now he was drowning in it.

He thought about his revenge, he thought his death would’ve worth something, redeeming actions he couldn’t admit he had done.

And, finally, he thought about his brother, somewhere, unaware. The punishment for his sins, Regulus knew that, was dying like this. Far, lonely, ignored.

He died, thinking that maybe he and Sirius weren’t so different, but they weren’t going to know that.

And to welcome him, at Hell’s doors, there would be the usual, immense silence.


End file.
